


Before the Moonlight Shines

by summerroad7



Category: Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Homophobic Language, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Superpowers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27087916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerroad7/pseuds/summerroad7
Summary: Alex, a certified mind reader, accidentally had his life tied to a mysterious charming man he once failed to understand. It seemed that he could never make Miles stay with him for long enough.
Relationships: Miles Kane/Alex Turner
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	1. Chapter 1

Before the Moonlight Shines

0\. Once Again You Find Me

It’s been barely two weeks since Miles turned up at his front porch last time. Today Alex opens the door and there he is, with a bruised cheekbone and torn lips, smiling. “Hi, Al.” He’s soaked to the bone, therefore voice trembles as he speaks. “It’s always nice to see your face.” Miles beams and with that, Alex already knows there’s trouble.

He almost knocks the steaming tea over Miles’ lap, once they sit down and Miles fills him in. “Enlighten me, Miles. Why the hell is Rosa after you?” Alex half sneers, half purrs in amusement. “Did you just slept with the only daughter of a former mob boss, then sneaked away without a word-”

“Don’t be daft, Al. I’ve got no interest in that little girl.” Miles takes the tea from Alex’s hands, shamelessly. There’s a hint of boredom in his voice, and he curls up on the sofa like a laze cat. “I shagged her fiancé.”

Alex squints. “You what?”

“I had sex with Rosa’s man. Sex, Al babe, you know, it means I put me-”

“Shut up Miles,” he scolds, not sure if he should laugh or complain. Eventually Alex settles with a bit of both. “What, you’re only telling me this now, after you dripped water everywhere in my living room, got my settee all wet and robbed me of my tea?”

“It’s a very nice tea. Thank you, Mr. Turner.” He bats those wet lashes and puts on a perfect show of innocence. Some may say only those unaware of their own charms are the most attractive. The case of Miles Kane, however, falls into the exact opposite - Miles is awfully well aware of what he can achieve with that sinful smile of his, a _nd he never hesitates to play dirty._

“You know I’m immune to your shits, Miles.” Alex warns him. “Get the fuck out of my house before I ask Jamie to physically remove you.”

Miles chews on his bottom lip and gives a loud snort, face furrowing comically. “Fine, do it.” Alex hears his guest shuffling slightly in the pile of cushions. “Let’s call that loyal bodyguard of yours.” For a second, almost imperceptibly, Miles’ shoulders draw up together. He sounded indifferent enough, yet Alex still manage to snatch the moment when Miles was, only ever so slightly, genuinely stung by that little threat. He is a simple man, after all.

Alex has to turn around to hide his triumphal grin.

“One last time, Miles.” Alex tells him, knowing very well that Miles won’t be going anywhere for the next few days. “Go change, you can wear my clothes.”

1\. I See It in Your Heart

“Be sure to make friends, but only when you’re sober.” Alexa had said before putting the office key into Alex’s pocket.

It’s been years since Alex had any new connections, sober or not. He is, inevitably, becoming kind of a loner, and that’s when Miles Kane comes into his life, shattering all his methodical, unexciting plans.

He’s secured himself a position before he even left the grammar school. The offer letter came into his mailbox as a pile of pages written in code. In many ways, that’s as exciting as a man’s day job could be, when other options may include sitting in a post office, handling mails for his smiley neighbours all week long. It’s not the nature of his work that’s bored Alex. He can only blame it on the nature of his own talent - Alex Turner is a certified mind-reader.

Life becomes unbearably tasteless when he witnesses enough of human thoughts untangled before his eyes. Priests are not that different from psychopaths if you look closely, and Alex has to turn his head away sometimes just to enjoy a quiet tea break. Everything seemed perfectly in line and tragically predictable - That was until he bumped into Miles Kane by pure accident on a raining afternoon, right outside the Borough Market.

This charming man, back then, was only a miserable young boy with long, skinny limbs. Greasy, tangled fringe framed his ghostly white face as the boy raised his head to see whose boots he just stepped on. He frowned and stopped reluctantly, while Alex stumbled backwards, nearly falling on his butt from the impact.

“Forgive me, Sir.” The boy apologized impatiently. It’s obvious that he didn’t feel slightly sorry for almost embarrassing a young gentleman on the street. Alex looked at him up and down, slightly annoyed at first, then realization hit him like a shooting star: Alex failed to read his mind. In other words, _this bloke was gifted._

“Wait!” Alex called after him when the boy was about to go. “What’s your name?”

“Me mates call me Miles.” Answered the boy in a strong Scouse accent. Some sarcasm bled into Miles’ tone as he bit his tongue and smiled drily at Alex. His eyes were dim and unmoved when he asked, “Is there anything else I can do for you, Sir?”

It was a Saturday, so Alex was not on duty. It wasn’t even his task to find new talents - Given all the reasons in the world to let Miles walk free, still, Alex stopped him. “Come with me, Miles.” He gestured Miles to walk in a quiet alley where no ears were listening. “You’ve got a rare talent. You see, there’s something about ya -”

“How do you know?” Miles cut him off, stepped closer and pushed Alex on the shoulder. All of a sudden, a forced, twisted smile lit up his pale face, his eyes burned bright. But his touch, meant to be rude, somehow had turned Alex’s knees weak.

 _Damn it._ Alex cursed quietly, moving out of the way. That was a really rare talent that Miles had been gifted, it seemed. Miles, unaware of what he’s capable of, spat at Alex, “Leave me the fuck alone, love.”, then dived right back into the lively street.

“Wait-” Alex called after him. Miles only snickered, voice harsh yet alluring all the same, before he fully disappeared in the rushing crowds.

+

Alex brought up his new find over beers.

“What you’re saying, the gift of charm?” Matt raised his glass to what he assumed was another story that Alex came up with when he’s bored. Matt himself was recruited because he’s got a pair of powerful hand, close to what the Americans pictured in their comic books. Right next to him sat Jamie, who’s the best shooter MI5 ever owned.

“That’s something.” Said Jamie in a high-pitched noise. Andy spilled half of his drink on the floor and Nick swore, getting up to find a dry seat. 

Alexa was the only one who didn’t laugh. She’s known as the sentry who scouts for new blood, a pure myth herself. Although they had been in the same team, nobody could figure out where Alexa’s speciality lay. She definitely had some kind of superpower, because Alex was able to peek into minds of the ungifted, but certainly not hers. “What else do you know?” she asked and dragged another chair over to sit. “Go on, Alex. Tell me more about this baby star.”

Alex stilled on his stool as Alexa leaned in and stared thoughtfully at him. “That’s all I know. I only met him briefly, Lex. This bloke might be sleeping rough around the area in Southwark. I tried to hear his thoughts, so figured he’s one of us.”

Alexa rested her chin on crossed fingers, eyes narrowing out of curiosity. “Why? You never do that on the street.”

“…he walked right into me and was hell rude.” Alex blushed, although he didn’t necessarily feel bad about it. “I was gonna find something to get back to him.”

She rolled her eyes at his admission. “Err…boys.”

“So, is it possible?”

“Well, it’s not impossible, but I need to see it for myself.” Alexa casted her sight down on the table to ponder. After a minute, she got up and nodded at Alex, a secretive giggle out of her mouth.

“How about…you bring this boy to me, Alex? Think of it as some leg work - A field trip, if you will.” Alexa said.

Alex grumbled, “On top of my other duties, you mean.”

“Of course. It’s still better than extra hours in the interrogation room, right?”

Alex had to agree with her on that.

+

To find Miles was never the tough part of his new task.

Alex run into him again outside the backdoor of a shabby pub, located a few minutes away from the Thames. Miles held a cigarrete butt mindlessly with two elegant fingers. He’s got the prettiest hands Alex had ever seen, despite the dirt beneath his nails and bruises around knuckles.

Miles saw him as soon as Alex stepped into the alley. “Jesus, it’s you again.” He curled his lips and pointed at Alex’s nose with the tiny firelight he’s holding. “Just so you know, I’m not sucking your cock.”

It’s hard to tell how serious he was being. Alex laughed feebly, stunned and confused at the same time. “I’m not bent, mate.”

Miles’ face was softened by a smirk. “…right, I see.” His eyes boldly touched the long curls resting on Alex’s shoulders, then travelled ironically down to the baggy white sweater Alex had on. “Remind me who are you, _Mr I’m -not-bent_?”

He had made Alex fidget with a weird sensation burning in his stomach. Alex gave him the required information, just his name, nothing else yet. Miles ditched the cigarrete butt, heeled it out, then peeled himself off from the brick wall lazily. He waggled down the street in funny, childlike stride, only stopped on the brink of Alex’s personal space. He smiled, “You got a fag to share, Alex?”

Miles smoked like it’s a paid job. Alex lit one for himself, but ended up wasting it in the dry, chilly wind of October. Winter was looming up over the horizon. Not many people would enjoy a walk at this hour. They went down to the river. As the two young men walked along the street, the night grew darker and they had less and less company. Alex had been peeking into random brains under Miles’ requests the whole evening, now he seized the last opportunity to show Miles that he was the real thing.

“…and that bloke’s a bank clerk. He’s got way too many mistresses, made the wrong choice, and now he’s panicking because his manager found out someone’s been stealing money.”

The mentioned man went pass them with a deep frown, having no idea he had just been thoroughly analysed. Miles turned his head, chasing that demure figure. For the first time tonight, he dropped his playful, indifferent smile. “Wow, this one’s spot-on.”

It’s Alex’s turn to be surprised. “You know him?”

“Not as well as you do.” The grin returned with a teasing wink. Miles hooked his collar up with a finger to adjust the fabric. He was wearing a floral shirt and a pair of jeans that’s probably way too tight to be comfortable. None of the pieces he had on was clean. It looked like he was straight out of a night club, then went on to roll inside a muddy pond.

Miles caught him staring. He shrugged, lowering his hand down for Alex to see more of the pale, sculptured neck. “Got this shirt from me nan’s closet after her funeral. Fit me alright, innit?”

The sudden shift of his tone knocked off Alex’s ability to speak. Miles kept a neutral face and studied this awkward silence carefully. A few seconds later, right before Alex was about to apologize, he burst out laughing, crooked teeth all on display and veins popping on his quivering throat. “Spare me that, please. I was fucking messing with you, la.”

Alex’s face heated up with embarrassment. He told himself that’s also because he couldn’t easily tell when Miles was bullshitting. “I’m not lying though.” Alex cleared his throat, trying to change focus back to his task. “I can take you to the right person who can confirm your specialty -”

“Alex, come on.” Miles interrupted, discarding the offer way before Alex could picture him a future. To be honest, he didn’t seem to give the slightest damn about tomorrow. However, today Miles at least seemed to enjoy Alex’s company enough to not take off. “Don’t ruin the night yet.”

He had to compromise. With a sigh, Alex shook his head. “I need to be in early tomorrow.”

Miles halted and faked an exaggerated sorry frown, making Alex snort into his own palms. “Have a lovely night then, Alex.” Miles dismissed him with a nonchalant motion of his hand. Although Alex wasn’t the one who left first, he somehow felt responsible for their parting.

Before dissolving in the dark shade of the night, Miles twisted his head back at Alex’s direction and deliberately shouted, “I’ll walk you home _next time_ , love!”, just to bring weird looks to Alex from a young couple nearby. _That bastard_.

Nonetheless, later when Alex got back to fumble for the light switch in his living room, he couldn’t stop smiling.


	2. Chapter 2

2\. All the space in between us

Often the young psychic thought of Miles Kane. In his mind Miles came closer without him noticing - sort of like a soft, golden vine, climbing over his shoulder. All Alex knew was that Miles had him trapped, inevitably and irresistibly, in a terrifyingly casual manner that could almost be counted as insulting.

As promised, there’s a “next time”, then another, followed by more and more encounters when Alex wasn’t needed in that dim, cold interrogation room. Normally Alex worked for no more than 4 days a week, pumping up his chance to see Miles dramatically – They always met near or inside a bar. Alcohol was something they both sought for, as Alex fought with boredom on a gloomy day and Miles with the cold, unwelcoming winter.

They locked eyes when Alex was searching for a table.

Miles looked surprised to find Alex in one of London’s filthiest bars. The dubious frown on his face melted as Alex walked over to him. Miles greeted Alex with a sneer, sounded rather fond, “What can possibly bring a good Monsieurhere?”

Alex put his beer on the table. He didn’t sit down at first, waited until Miles rolled his eyes and gestured him to settle. Only then did Alex smile back, “Heard there’s a show. I quite like the band.”

Miles kicked the table stand in excitement. “You do?” He laughed, placing both elbows on the wooden surface so that Alex’s face was only a few inches away. “I saw them playing a few years back in Liverpool, fucking loved it.”

“Liverpool, you say?”

“Come on, you’re not surprised.” Miles didn’t do much more than lifting his eyebrows when Alex reached for the other stool. He scanned Alex quickly, with a half-smile curling on his thin lips. “You’ll get in trouble with hair like that, you know. They can’t tell the difference between you and that bird, if they’re knackered.”

Alex’s eyes followed Miles’ finger and went on to look around the room. There’s a young woman with shoulder length curly hair, sitting alone behind the bar. Several big blokes in dusty blue uniforms took up the long table right in front of the television, where at least three voices were shouting at the same time. Two men in their 40s were playing cards on a lonely table and a group of suspiciously young-looking boys sat in the middle. Their bags piled up on the floor, none of which was anywhere near clean. There were a few empty tables and chairs, forming a barricade against the backdoor in order to make space for the band: It looked like they were set to play at the far corner.

By the end of the quick tour, the bar itself had lost Alex’s attention completely. All his thought was squeezed into a miserable wool ball, which desperately wanted to wrap around Miles’ fingers and stay there.

Miles noticed his distracted gaze as well. His hand, an elegant piece that shouldn’t exist at all, smashed down on the table. This startled Alex out of his embarrassing daze. Miles sniffed lightly, “That is kind of weird, man.”

“I-I’m not-” Alex motioned between them. He couldn’t possibly blame it on the supernatural power Miles might own. “It’s just…”

“What,” Miles pressed on him. He was not angry or annoyed. If anything, he looked almost curious and rightfully amused. His eyes appeared a lovely shade of gold when Milles looked up to the ceiling and mouthed, “It’s just that you’re not bent?”

God bless the shitty lighting. Alex allowed himself to burn red. They sank into a short, uncomfortable silence. Alex turned to watch the band setting up their gears. The lead singer was a tall girl with fierce eyes and a raw, wild smile. She leaned down to give instructions to the guitarist, who’s a little guy with greasy curly hair. He didn’t seem very bright, judging by the impatient look on her face. Right next to him Alex heard a quiet snort, followed by a strangled sigh that’s barely audible.

Alex turned around just quickly enough to catch the hint of hurt and jealousy on Miles’ face. It was that specific kind of pained, regretful expression that only came with memories.

Miles was sitting in the darkest spot when Alex found him, on the diagonal from the makeshift stage, probably the worst spot to watch the show when there were free tables in the front, although he had claimed that he loved the band. Alex chewed on his bottom lip. He could see the absurdity. It didn’t take a mind-reader to know that Miles was at least partly lying.

“Don’t bother.” Miles cut him off before Alex could even open his mouth to ask. The Scoucer planted his face heavily into his hands, suddenly got up on shaky legs, pushing his half empty beer away. Alex rose up with him.

“Where are you heading?”

“Enjoy, go watch the damn show.” Miles muttered, gesturing him to sit back down. Alex fell back on the chair as if he was spooked, though it wasn’t long before he jumped up once again, rushing out of the door to catch the other lad.

Miles was already gone. “Fuck,” He swore in frustration, slowing down and eventually stood still on the street. Alex searched around aimlessly for another minute, heart thumping uneasily in his chest. He stopped when in front of him the road was crossed with another lane. “Damn it!”

“Keep your voice down, mate.” The source of his anxiety mocked behind him. Alex cursed again and turned back so fast that he almost made another fool out of himself. Miles blinked in surprise as Alex rushed close in a hurry. “Take it easy, Alex. You’re scaring me a bit.”

“I thought you liked the band.” Alex whispered. He caught Miles in the act of fetching a lie out of his pocket. Clearly Miles knew there’s no point to talk bullshits after one glance at Alex’s face. He shrugged and started to walk. Alex followed him.

Underneath the shaggy coat Miles was wearing a fresh pair of jeans and a white polo that’s probably not something he could afford without breaking the law. It almost seemed like he had dressed up for tonight.

Alex took a wild guess. “Is that your bird who’s playing?”

Miles choked on a laughter. “Babe, are you daft or something? I’ve got no interest in birds whatsoever.” He spat the words out one by one. “Why do you care? Don’t you have a job somewhere that’s more interesting than stalking a faggot?”

“I’m doing my job right now.” Alex answered, keeping his voice soft and neutral. “And it’s not a problem if you’re homosexual.”

Miles stared at him. There was a long, defiant pause, during which Alex nearly forgot to keep walking. A dark glint was visible in his eyes when Miles spoke again. “It’s not your problem.” 

The venom and the weight of that accusation made Alex stop dead on his track. Miles didn’t bother with a goodbye when he ditched Alex this time.

+

The start was not easy.

In the earliest days, Alex pushed and poked at the wrong time as he approached Miles Kane – Alex was never good with words. Not to mention that he was horrible at dealing with people when there wasn’t a guideline to read beforehand.

When Alex was young, he didn’t know how to stop himself from listening. He was grateful when they trained him, let him escape the constant noises coming from the bottom of strangers’ hearts. Never had Alex thought one day he’d wish to read one’s mind so bad.

Alex came looking for Miles.

They both knew this time they didn’t just bump into each other on the sidewalk by the river. Alex came with a milky white jumper, a fluffy coat and a bottle of whiskey, all stuffed in the dusty backpack he found under the bed. Miles didn’t say no to the cigarrete Alex offered.

Taking one long drag of the cigarrete, Miles kicked his legs out and swayed them back and forth over the dork’s edge. “You can be such a pain in the ass.” Miles cracked a smile, tilting his head slightly forward. “I never had a pursuer like you before, Al.”

The bad joke, the unexpected nickname, together with some absurd fondness in Miles’ tone landed Alex on his butt. He sat next to Miles, shivering uncontrollably when cold air sneaked into his jacket. Beside him, Miles seemed to be unaware of the freezing wind. His fingers felt like ice sculpture when they brushed against Alex’s own.

“What’s this?” Miles opened the backpack Alex pushed into his arms and frowned. “Seriously, what are you now, a Christian?”

“You don’t have to be that offensive.” Alex murmured as Miles dug out the bottle of whiskey but left the rest untouched.

Miles squinted at him. “I don’t see you being offended.”

“I will soon be if you keep accusing me of… Miles?” Alex looked down and peeked at the hand resting on his left knee. The touch gave him chills.

“I won’t buy your stories, you know.”

Alex couldn’t just let him be. “I’m not lying.”

“I know you are.” Miles swung the bottle at him. The silver moonlight painted his smile ashy and bitter. “There’s no such thing as a magical charm, Alex. If that’s real, I won’t be your fucking charity project right now, don’t you think?”

“It’s nothing like that,” Alex argued. “I’m your friend.”

“Well, you do know how to flatter yourself.” That one truly stung. Alex flinched, but Miles continued. “I don’t wanna be your bloody friend.”

+

It took a whole winter month, a few miserable sleepless nights and a nasty case of a series killer for Alex to finally gather enough courage to try again with Miles Kane.

Rather unfortunately, he wasn’t mentally prepared for another encounter so soon. It was a tough day. Alex wasted no time, taking the shortcut to the nearest bar he could find, and planned to get shitfaced before sleeping off the sickening feeling he couldn’t shed. He could never get used to child murderers.

He walked past a few dim valleys. The streetlights could really use a repair. Alex’s heart almost leaped out of his chest when a pained groan reached his ears from somewhere in the dark.

Alex dropped his umbrella as soon as he realized against the wall there weren’t just a pile of rubbish bags, but also a man. Cold needles of rain stabbed his face, making Alex wince. Now Alex recognized him, his heart stopped all together. “Miles?”

“God, what happened?” he breathed out shakily. A trembling hand reached out from the shadows and wrapped itself around his ankle. Alex wasn’t wearing any socks, therefore the wet, desperate touch came in touch with his bare skin, making all his anger and grievance dissipate, if he ever had any.

“I asked… I begged him to stay…me mum’s crying... I-He said…” Miles held onto him so tightly that Alex physically lost the ability to walk away. Another sob ripped his voice as Miles choked on the next sentence, chest heaving with effort. “He said there’s no place for a faggot in his house.”

Every laboured breath of his was accompanied with a dreadful wet sound. Alex fell onto his knees. Shit. He started to panic - Pneumonia in December was a death sentence. Alex bent down, lowering one knee on the wet ground, and carefully put a hand on top of Miles’ bony fingers. “It’s all right. Miles. I’ve got ya.”

“I have to be the one leaving, Al.” Miles held his hand instead, now that he recognized him. His eyes were wide with pain and fear: Fear of losing conscious, fear of seeing Alex gone, or fear of death - Alex couldn’t tell. He didn’t know.

“I have to.” The words sounded like an apology if Alex dared to dream. “Please Alex, I need you to understand-”

“I do.” Alex squeezed his hand. Gently He’s removing the few strands of hair from Miles’ eyes. He’s burning under Alex’s fingertips, like a lit match in this heartless, unyielding winter night, struggling to hang in there. “Hey, hey…eyes on me. That’s right, you’ll be fine, Miles, I promise.” He demanded desperately. “Let me help you.”

Miles sighed, hazel eyes slowly losing focus. He blinked under the rain and smiled deliriously. Suddenly Alex felt like the inside of himself was burning as well. Miles’ hand slid off eventually. “…kay.”

Alex fetched him before the muddy ground did.


	3. Chapter 3

3\. Before you take me in

Alexa brought with her Dave and Steve, two of their best medical men. They knew when to play deaf and dumb. She came in through the front and found Alex busy pacing around in the living room, hands shaky and brain boiling, a close-to-dying Miles on his sofa. 

Alex swayed back and collapsed on the arm of the sofa when he saw them. “God, Alexa, I called you ages ago!”

Ignoring Alex, she instructed, “Go ahead, please.” Steve kneeled down to check on Miles and Alex immediately moved away to make space for Dave. He then saw her motioning for him to follow. 

Alex dragged each reluctant step all the way to the bedroom, shoulders hunched. “I was expecting at least a thank-you note with flowers and biscuits, you know.” Alexa threw a dry, clean T-shirt at him and brushed off his awkward apology with a snort. “What happened?”

“…don’t know. He passed out within seconds. I didn’t get much information-”

“No no, Alex. I mean what happened to you?” asked Alexa, “Look, nowadays you don’t even flinch in front of our best series killers. You were having a panic attack when you called! I thought you lost a leg or something.”

Alex protested. “I was not.” 

“Keep telling yourself that, darling.” She grabbed a pair of jeans for him as well and laid it on the mattress. “So, that’s your little Prince Charming out there, huh?”

Alex’s attention was brought back to the reason that got Alexa here in the first place. He started, “Miles-”

“Get changed first, chat later.” 

Alexa had the look on her face saying: You are of no use to the doctors so piss off. She was probably right. Alex dried himself as much as he could with a towel. When he went back outside, Alexa was waiting for him by the kitchen table. Alex pulled out a chair for himself, watching closely as they put up an IV pole for Miles. Dave started to peel the filthy damp clothes off Miles’ body. Underneath, pale skin and bruises were exposed to Alex’s eyes. Panic soared up in his chest as he realized his mistake: Fuck, he should’ve done it ages ago, as soon as he laid Miles down on that squawky sofa -

A hand landed onto his shoulder. “Breathe, Alex.” Alexa shook him lightly until Alex was looking elsewhere, rather than staring at the scars scattered on Miles’ torso. “Come with me. We need to talk.”

“Later, please?” He didn’t think twice before asking. The moment of weakness earned him a warning smack from Alexa and a weird side glance from Steve. Dave was poking a thermometer around like a probe. The look on his face made Alex feel slightly nauseous. 

Alexa grunted in frustration. “Alex, come on. Don’t be ridiculous!” 

“The infection is controllable.” Dave looked up at Steve, and then bent down to touch Miles’ eyelids, checking behind them cautiously. “You have no reason to worry, Mr. Turner.”

But Alex knew well enough what it often meant when someone avoided to confront him. “Look at me in the eyes.” He demanded, shooting up so quickly that the room was spinning. The two doctors had dropped their head at his requirement and that’s when Alexa decided to grab his collar and pull him up. 

“To the study room, Alex.” She hissed. The threat in her eyes could not be clearer. “NOW.”

They got themselves some privacy, but there really wasn’t much for Alex to tell. He simply found Miles by accident and took him home. Alex secretly asked Alexa for help because the big guys weren’t particularly fond of him. He remembered thinking, praying - Please, take in another breath. Please don’t die. Some strange fear had left him waiting like a useless child. He just sat there, completely petrified by the way Miles’ chest rose and fell as he struggled for air. 

It seemed that Alexa took pity on him, so no further questions. “Watch out, Al. You’re getting far too deep in this shit.” She sounded worried, although Alex couldn’t see the reason why. “I’ll leave him to you. You know what to do when-if he’s well enough for a talk. Anything happens, call me. I’ll tell Williams that you’re on a mission.”

Alex meant to thank her, but only managed a grateful, incoherent sound.

+

In the middle of the night Alex woke up to Miles coughing and tossing. 

In sleep Miles reached out aimlessly and almost ruined the precious tubes that connected him to life. Alex wasted no time to stop his suicide mission, taking Miles’ sweaty hand into his own, meanwhile steadying the IV stand with his left elbow. Hovered above him, Alex had to inhale deeply and took a grip on himself when Miles curled up, his knees drawing up and pressing up against Alex’s abdomen. He felt the vibration of Miles’ body through their contact point. An unfamiliar but not all unwelcome sensation caught him off guard, had his stomach quivering long after Miles retreated back into a soundless coma. 

Slowly, Alex let his fingers slacken. Moving backwards, he found support on the tea table and stayed still. He looked down at his own hands for a full minute, thinking about what Alexa had said to him earlier. Miles hadn’t done much but stir in his sleep until dawn. By then Alex was exhausted from spending the night on the floor, but he no longer felt uneasy with the silence.

Dave and Steve came on shift. Alex got a few hours of sleep here and there, mostly sticked to the floor, dining chairs, or the bulky armchair he fetched from the study room. On Saturday Alexa leaved him a voice message, reminding him to show up for Monday’s meeting no matter what. Alex hadn’t decided on whether to ignore it or not. 

When Dave was here, Alex took the opportunity to do grocery shopping. He walked pass the church two blocks away from his place and a few early memories bubbled up. Alex recalled his mother dressing him up for Sundays. He remembered how prayers floated in a vast, holy room that smelled of incense mixed with the odour of mouldy wood. Whispering thoughts rushed into his head without invitation. The young priest flashed a forgiving smile at them when Alex started to sob in the crook of his mother’s arms, but then their eyes met, Alex was informed that the man had raped many girls in the name of God, right at the alter –

Alex withdrew his gaze from the church as if he was burnt. Out of habit, he kept his head down and avoided eye contact with other people in the shop. 

When he rushed back, Dave was already gone. He left Alex a note and a can of ointment, clearly wanted to keep face-to-face engagement minimal. Alex accepted with a relief, settling down once again on the floor.

+  
He felt he was being observed. At first Alex wasn’t sure if that’s a wishful thinking. He put down the book he was trying to read, walked up to the window and reached for the curtains. The light rushed in, confirming his suspicion. Miles frowned at the invasion of a Sunday afternoon. The skin on the tip of his nose pulled tight for a second before loosened into an annoyed frown.

Alex lumbered back to stand beside the tea table. His throat was strangely tight.

“Hi…eh, you’re awake.”

“Yes, I am.” Miles blinked a few more times under the sun. He stared at Alex, seemingly amazed by his presence. Alex could hear those three days of restless sleep his hoarse voice. But there’s a hint of humour in his sneer as Miles averted his gaze up to meet Alex’s eyes. “I wasn’t planning on waking up to my noble stalker…but guess it’s better than seeing the face of God.” 

“I didn’t stalk you.”

“Well, nor am I ever gonna meet God. I’m just saying.”

“Of course. I mean, Earth is 4.5 billion years old.”

He made Miles chuckle, which in turn lifted Alex’s mood up in the clouds. He suggested, “I’ll get you some water.” 

Alex went into the kitchen and came back with herbal tea. Miles was examining the back of his left hand as Alex kneeled beside the sofa. He poked at those faded marks left by needles. 

Miles sounded awfully confused. “You are strange even for a psycho.”

Without a reply, Alex gently shoved the cup into Miles’ hand, then helped him to sit up. They both heard his bones cracking. Alex grumbled when Miles complained the tea tasted bitter, but he did go back to get the sugar jar.

Taking another sip of the sweetened tea, Miles looked around curiously. It seemed that he had no memories of how he ended up here at Alex’s place. 

“I have your consent, you know.” 

Miles tilted his head to the side. “For what?”

“To help you.” Alex reminded him, “And you said okay.”

“I said -” Miles burst into laughter and almost dropped the teacup. “What are you talking about?”

“It’s just… last time you got hell angry, so I figured I had to ask beforehand.”

“I don’t fucking understand.” Miles’ shoulders drew up defensively and all of a sudden, those eyes grew cold. The incredulous glance Miles casted at him made Alex wish he could just vanish into the thin air, although he didn’t know what he had done wrong. “Why do you care?”

“Well, I didn’t want you to take it the wrong way again, did I.” Alex almost forgot what it felt like, explaining himself to someone when he couldn’t just figure out what was going on in their head. He waited and waited until he couldn’t bear the hanging axe above his head anymore. Alex looked up. “I can’t just leave you to die.”

Miles blinked at him. Once. Twice. His eyes were bloodshot and weary, but they are still the brightest, most fierce eyes Alex ever looked into. How can he simply let a flame go out in the rain without anyone noticing? 

“Okay, I get it.” After an agonizing moment of silence, Miles reached his right hand out together pulled out an urchin grin. “I owe you this one.”

It would be less insulting if Miles had just thanked him. But by now Alex started to get used to Miles’ ways. He didn’t really mind. “They also want to meet you and see if you’re one of…of us.” Alex changed the subject. Miles shrugged at the information, shaking his head negatively. If he didn’t want to be tested, Alex wasn’t keen on forcing him, anyway. 

They finished their tea quickly afterwards. Alex wanted to keep him for one more night, but Miles was hard to persuade. He showered and changed into Alex’s clothes, all without much resistance. Miles looked awfully young in Alex’s hoodie and jacket. The pair of jeans were a tad too short and Alex could not help seeing a scar welted on his left anklebone.

“Tell me. What’s so interesting?” 

“Nothing.” Alex flushed with embarrassment. He should not let Miles walk away but did so for nothing more than to earn his trust. For the same reason, he failed to ask any questions. 

“Have some sleep, Alex.” Miles told him. The teasing smirk was gone now, and he offered Alex a smile that was by far the softest and most genuine. “I’m sure we’ll meet again.”

**Author's Note:**

> I dug out this one too. Hope you enjoy!


End file.
